Courage In Action – Lion's Whiskers

The Monkey’s Heart

admin — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 00:00:00 +0000

Versions of this tale have been collected from many countries, including Korea, Japan, China, the Philippines, Tanzania and Kenya. Details change to suit local circumstances, but the gist of the story – and the payoff – remain the same. I’ve written before about the benefit of telling trickster stories. Here is a classic example of quick wits and intellectual courage in action.

Monkey loved mangoes, of course. Who does not? And his favorite mango tree had branches that reached out over a river, where a certain crocodile came quite often.

“Why do you come here, lurking and smirking?” Monkey asked one day, hanging just out of reach and eating a sweet piece of fruit.

“I come because one of these days you will slip,” Crocodile replied. “And I will catch you and take you to my king.”

Monkey laughed, and swung back up onto the branch. “Really? We’ll see about that!”

But Crocodile was patient, and one day, sure enough! – Monkey’s hands were slippery with mango juice and he fell sploosh! into the river.

“I have you now,” Crocodile said, tossing Monkey onto his bumpy back. “My king will be so pleased. A fortune-teller told him that if he ate a monkey’s heart he would live forever, and now I will be the one to deliver it to him!”

Monkey gasped. “Oh no! You’ve made a big mistake!”

“I’m sure you think so!” Crocodile said. “Now bid farewell to the world of trees and sky, and prepare to meet the world of mud and sunken bones at the bottom of the river.”

“You don’t understand,” Monkey continued, thinking fast. “I am honored to grant everlasting life to your king, but my heart is still in the tree!“

The crocodile hesitated. “What’s that?”

Pointing to the mango tree, Monkey said, “I always take my heart out and put it on a branch before I pick fruit. I thought everyone knew that. If you just let me get it I’ll be glad to go with you.”

Crocodile thought about what would happen if he presented his king a monkey with no heart. No, the king would not be pleased at all. With one quick whip of his tail he lunged for the shore so Monkey could hop off. “Hurry!” Crocodile commanded.

Quick as thought, Monkey climbed to the highest branch of the mango tree and laughed so hard he got an ache in his side. “You fool!” he mocked. “Whoever heard of a monkey with no heart! Your king will have to wait a long time before he ever gets mine!”

Angry and embarrassed, Crocodile sank below the surface, leaving a trail of bubbles behind. He never returned to that part of the river, because whenever he came anywhere near, he could hear Monkey laughing, laughing, laughing…

A Tall Tell Tale

admin — Tue, 10 May 2011 00:00:00 +0000

Living for a year in Switzerland as a child, I saw and heard frequent mention of that country’s legendary hero, William Tell. Pictures of the man with the crossbow on his shoulder and his son by his side were common. I like this story a lot, because it’s a story about moral courage and emotional courage in action in spite of anger and smoldering resistance. Anger can be a great motivator, but indulging in our passionate indignation can blur our vision and our decision-making. When we storm the castle with pitchforks and flaming torches we get to vent our feelings, but it usually doesn’t get us closer to our goal. This story is literally about keeping a steady hand in spite of anger. Courage requires self-control, or else it risks being mere recklessness.

In long ago days, the forest cantons of Switzerland suffered under the dominion of the Austrian emperors, and for some time, a cruel and tyrannical governor named Gessler ruled the canton of Uri. His authority was absolute, and many of his laws were designed to bring the people shame and humiliation. In the high hill town of Altdorf he had a tall pole raised in the center square and his hat placed on top. All the people were required to show their obedience whenever they passed through the square by bowing to this hat. To avoid this, most people just found a different route through town.

Now, in the mountains outside of Altdorf lived a hunter named William Tell, said to be the best shot with a crossbow in all of Switzerland. One day, not knowing the law about Gessler’s hat, Tell came to town with his young son, and passed through the town square without saluting.

Just then, a troop of soldiers with Gessler at their head rode through the square. Seeing William Tell pass without paying respect, Gessler had him arrested for treason.

“They say that you are the best shot in the land,” the governor said when he heard William Tell’s name. “If you can shoot the mark I give you, you will go free.”

“Name the mark,” Tell replied, taking an arrow from his quiver.

Gessler smiled at Tell’s son. “Do you think your father will hit the mark I decide?”

“My father can hit anything,” the boy replied proudly.

The tyrant laughed, and told his soldiers to stand the boy against a distant tree, and place an apple on his head. Then he turned to William Tell. “If you can shoot that apple from your son’s head on the first try, you go free. If not, you both die.”

Even the soldiers were appalled by this command, but William Tell just took another arrow from his quiver and tucked it in his belt. Then, with the first arrow notched to his crossbow, he took careful aim at his son. The crowd hushed. In the silence, the arrow’s whistling flight and the thump as it hit the tree were perfectly clear. The apple fell to the ground, pierced by the arrow. The boy ran back to his father, apple in hand.

“Impressive,” said Gessler. “But what was the second arrow for?”

William Tell looked Gessler straight in the eyes. “This one was for your heart, if my shot had harmed my son.”

At that, Gessler had Tell arrested again, and taken off for execution. But William Tell escaped on the journey and made his way to Gessler’s fortress. There, Tell shot the governor with his second arrow, freeing his people from tyranny.

Courage In Action

admin — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 00:00:00 +0000

For all our readers in Upstate New York, here’s an opportunity to be inspired as a parent and learn more about two mothers who decided to embrace courage instead of fear, in the face of the devastating deaths of their husbands on 9/11, through supporting Afghan widows.

Special Film Event – This Saturday and Sunday, March 26 &27, 2011: Beyond Belief

Film (92 mins.) followed by Q & A with Susan Retik

All proceeds donated to Beyond the 11th non-profit organization.

Susan Retik and Patti Quigley were both pregnant when their husbands were killed on 9/11. Family, friends, and support from around the world enabled them to rebuild their lives. Choosing to transcend the prevalent response of anger and violent retaliation, they founded the organization Beyond the 11th to reach out to Afghan widows with whom they felt a kinship. In 2006, Susan and Patti traveled to Afghanistan to meet their Afghan counterparts and see firsthand the work of the organization they founded. Beyond Belief documents this journey. Beyond the 11th is a non-profit 501(c)(3) organization that empowers widows in Afghanistan who have been afflicted by war, terrorism, and oppression. It supports programs that enable widows to support themselves and their families by providing grants to partner NGOs in Afghanistan and funding education and incomegeneration opportunities that are sustainable and culturally appropriate.

If you would like further information about the film events contact Lisa: info@drlisaparentcoaching.com

You can also rent this movie at your local video store, or order it on Netflix or Amazon.

Prepare to be inspired by how it is possible from out of the ashes of devastating loss, great courage and humanitarianism can emerge!

Two showings of the film: (Tickets available at the door)
March 26, 2011

First Unitarian Universalist

Society of Albany (FUUSA)

405 Washington Ave
Albany

6:30 pm

March 27, 2011

Gannet Auditorium, Skidmore College
815 North Broadway

Saratoga Springs

3:30 pm

Suggested donation: $10

All donations are 100% tax deductible. If you are unable to attend the event, consider a donation through http://www.beyondthe11th.org/

What is Moral Courage?

admin — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 00:00:00 +0000

Compiled and written by Lisa and Jennifer:

This is the fourth in the “Six Types of Courage” that we will explore in-depth. We hope you’ve already had the chance to read over our page called “The Six Types of Courage” for a brief overview of our definitions. The examples we give for each type of courage may apply to your children and/or to you —please keep in mind, when you are reading this post, that some of these examples may involve taking “baby steps” on your way to moral courage! Every step towards courage is worthwhile and important.

Moral Courage

“He who does not punish evil commands it to be done.” —Leonardo da Vinci

“Perfect courage means doing unwitnessed what we would be capable of with the world looking on.”— La Rochefoucauld

“The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their mind to be good or evil.” — Hannah Arendt

Moral courage means doing the right thing even at the risk of inconvenience, ridicule, punishment, loss of job or security or social status, etc. Moral courage requires that we rise above the apathy, complacency, hatred, cynicism, and fear-mongering in our political systems, socioeconomic divisions, and cultural/religious differences. For parents, it frequently requires us to put aside compelling but momentary pleasures or comforts in order to set a good example for our children and be the parents we aspire to be. Doing the right thing means listening to our conscience, that quiet voice within. Ignoring that voice can lead to feelings of inadequacy, guilt and diminished personal integrity. Moral courage requires us to make judgments about what actions or behaviors are supportive of our highest ideals, and which ones are destructive. It asks us to recognize our responsibilities and see the consequences of our own actions.

For inspiring true stories, ways to recognize and coach moral courage in ourselves and our children…READ ON!
History is full of shining examples of moral courage whom we rightly celebrate: Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Aung San Suu Kyi and many others. When we see people put their safety, security or reputation on the line for a cause they believe in, or for an ideal that matters more than personal comfort, we see moral courage in action.

Here is a video from TED.com that gives great examples of moral courage and demonstrates the importance of overcoming the fear of failure. The speaker is author J.K. Rowling, and the speech is 21 minutes long. We were surprised and inspired by what she had to say.

Moral courage looks like:

helping someone push a car out of a snowbank, even if it means being late
standing up to a bully on the playground
picking up litter
doing homework or chores without being reminded
refusing to listen to or repeat gossip
practicing what you preach, even when no-one is looking or knows
turning in a toy or a wallet to the Lost and Found
a teen who calls home for a ride from a party where alcohol is being served
a teacher who gives all students an equal voice regardless of race, socioeconomic status, religion, gender or sexual orientation
a company whistle blower risking job loss, financial cost, and or legal repercussion
reporting a crime
participating in a peaceful protest

Lack of moral courage looks like:

walking away from someone in need
taking more than your fair share
laughing at someone’s misfortune or accident
grabbing the spotlight from someone who has earned it
placing too much reliance on the letter rather than the spirit of the law
remaining silent in the face of wrong-doing or injustice
rationalizations or justifications for action/lack of action
being inconsistent or capricious with rules and standards for our children
choosing sides after seeing which way the wind is blowing
breaking a promise
lying or cheating

Moral courage sounds like:

“I believe strongly in _________.”
“That joke was offensive to women/Muslims/the disabled/etc.”
“Let’s volunteer.”
“Dad, I’m in trouble.”
“I am going to campaign for __________.”
“It’s not fair that ____________.”
“I broke this, Mom. I’m sorry.”
“I’ll march with you.”
“No, thanks, I don’t want to hear a secret!”
“You shouldn’t talk behind her/his back.”
“Will you sign this petition?”
“You can depend on me.”

Lack of moral courage sounds like:

“It’s none of my business.”
“She got what she deserved.”
“That’s got nothing to do with me.”
“How could you do this to me?”
“It’s not for me to judge.” *
“I only did it once.”
“This is all your fault!”
“Just let it slide.”
“There’s no use trying to change the system, it’s just too strong.”
“Nobody else is doing anything about it, why should I?”
“I might get into trouble.”
“Don’t make waves.”
“Nobody ever gives me a break.”

* as a way to shirk personal responsibility.

Grab Some Lion’s Whiskers!
Here are some tips for developing moral courage for you and your kids:

role-play losing a toy, ask your child to imagine what it would feel like if nobody returned the lost item
show good sportsmanship and request your children to do the same
be a good loser and a good winner
offer ethical dilemmas to discuss at the dinner table; here are some conversation starters: is it ever okay to steal? lie? cheat? If you’re driving home at three in the morning and there’s no traffic for miles around, is it okay to go through a red light? Is tattling on someone good or bad?
choose a charitable cause to support as a family
beware self-righteousness! we all stumble and fall sometimes
be a good listener to your kids; if you have their trust they are more likely to come to you when there’s trouble
let your kids, especially your teens, know that you’d rather hear it from them
tell a story about a mistake that you made and what you learned from it
tell a story about your biggest flop; be sure that enough time has elapsed that you can find some laughter in it!
share stories that show people making difficult choices

What are your ideas about moral courage, your parenting tips to promote it with kids, or your favorite moral courage story (fiction or non-fiction)? We’d love to hear from you!

Here are other blog posts related to moral courage: Helper & Guide, David & Goliath, Getting to the Heart of Courage , Healthy Attachment Between Parent and Child, Fenrir: Big, Bad Wolf,
The Path to Courage: Irena Gutowa’s Story ,
Beowulf: A Hero’s Tale Retold, Hard-Wired to Care: You Matter in the Moral Life of Your Children, Raising a Good Citizen of the World, Using Moral Courage to Navigate Facebook and other Social Jungles

Here’s more on the types of courage:
What is Physical Courage?
What is Social Courage?
What is Intellectual Courage?
What is Emotional Courage?
What is Spiritual Courage?

What is Intellectual Courage?

admin — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 00:00:00 +0000

Compiled and written by Lisa and Jennifer:

This is the third in the “Six Types of Courage” that we will explore in-depth. We hope you’ve already had the chance to read over our page called “The Six Types of Courage” for a brief overview of our definitions. The examples we give for each type of courage may apply to your children and/or to you —please keep in mind, when you are reading this post, that some of these examples may involve taking “baby steps” on your way to intellectual courage! Every step towards courage is worthwhile and important.

Intellectual Courage

“Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.”— Marie Curie

“The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking.”— John Kenneth Galbraith

“If you believe everything you read, you better not read.”— Japanese proverb

Intellectual courage means being willing to grapple with difficult or confusing concepts and ask questions, being willing to struggle to gain understanding and risk making mistakes. Sometimes what we learn challenges previously accepted ideas, or contradicts teachings of family or cultural group. Intellectual courage will be required more and more in the future, as complex structural problems of the environment, economy, and society challenge conventional problem-solving. Intellectual courage means being intrinsically motivated to learn and question, rather than extrinsically motivated. Given the information explosion of recent decades along with easy and indiscriminate access to it, being a critical thinker will only become more important, not less. Being passive recipients of information, forgetting to track sources or cross-reference data can quickly turn even the brightest minds into moldable mush. Integrity and authenticity are interwoven with intellectual courage; it means telling the truth no matter how uncomfortable.

For inspiring true stories, ways to recognize and coach intellectual courage in ourselves and our children…READ ON!

History offers great examples of intellectual courage. When we picture Galileo standing before the Inquisition, insisting that he could not recant the ‘heresy’ of his evidence that we don’t live in a perfect universe, we see intellectual courage in action.

This fascinating lecture by Dan Gilbert on TED.com indicates how easy it is to deceive ourselves, and how thoroughly we must be willing to question all of our assumptions. It’s about 35 minutes long and well worth watching; grab a cup of coffee and be prepared to think!

asking questions
listening to questions
working on puzzles and thought problems
memorizing long poems
studying music or a foreign language
applying for and using a library card
disagreeing with your own mind
seeking out opposing points of view
deciding you’d rather have peace of mind than be right
reading banned books
curiosity
taking as long as necessary to learn something, rather than being satisfied with a superficial understanding
offering opinions
listening to others’ opinions

Lack of intellectual courage looks like:

not asking questions
not listening to questions — or the answers
giving up quickly on new material or new ideas
not admitting that you don’t know
repeating “facts” without questioning them
superstition
inability to recognize connections between ideas
lack of curiosity about other people, other ideas
pretending you don’t know what you really do know, like not opening the bills or test results
accepting the first answer

Intellectual courage sounds like:

“Can you explain that to me again?”
“I’ve changed my mind.”
“How do you know that’s true?”
“Where can I find more information?”
“I get it!”
“Wow, that’s really interesting!”
“Show me how you did that.”
“I never thought of it that way.”
“What do you think?”
“I wonder if…”
“Hmm, that didn’t work out. Let’s try that problem again.”
“Are we even asking the right questions about this issue?”
“What questions would you ask if you were in my shoes?”
“I’ve got a great idea!”

Lack of intellectual courage sounds like:

“Don’t ask so many questions!”
“Don’t be ridiculous!”
“I hate tests.”
“I hate school.”
“I’m terrible at math/spelling/languages/reading/etc.”
“We’re just supposed to solve the problem this way.”
“Keep your opinions to yourself.”
“Why do we have to learn this?”
“I’m so stupid.”
“Nobody’s interested in what you have to say.”
“That’s how we’ve always done it.”
“How should I know?”
“Reading is a waste of time.”

Grab Some Lion’s Whiskers!
Here are some tips for developing intellectual courage for yourself and your kids:

keep reference books handy so you can look things up (yes, we still need actual books)
get big maps for your walls and explore them with your kids
encourage your children to ask questions (and be patient when they start asking!)
pick a topic you’re all interested in and explore it together
let your child tell you something interesting (even if you already know it)
keep different kinds of puzzles and games available (using words or numbers), especially ones that require creative problem-solving or “out of the box” thinking
let your kids catch you reading
learn how to say “I don’t know. Let’s find out.”
compete to see how many uses you can find for everyday objects: pencils, paper, tin foil, sugar, money, cotton balls, CDs
play memory games in the car to encourage observation and focus
take an active interest in what your children are learning and ask them what their opinions are about what they are learning
at dinner, ask your family about what they’re reading or ask them for one new (interesting to them) fact that they just learned
share trickster tales and stories that celebrate quick-wittedness and fantastic feats

What are your ideas about intellectual courage, your parenting tips to promote it with kids, or your favorite intellectual courage story (fiction or non-fiction)? We’d love to hear from you!

Here are some posts on the blog that are related to intellectual courage: Courage As an Antidote to Fear, Two Parables of Rumi, David and Goliath, Relativity, The Way We Hold Our Babies,
5-Minute Courage Workout: Thinking Outside the Box, The Gate of Heaven and the Gate of Hell, The Sky is Falling? Really? , The Briar Patch, Right Brain Workouts for Kids & Parents
A Mango Tree and a Baby, two stories, Courage Book Review: Three by Idries Shah, A Hurricane is Coming
Here’s more on the types of courage:
What is Physical Courage?
What is Social Courage?
What is Emotional Courage?
What is Moral Courage?
What is Spiritual Courage?

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